Over the years I have come to realize that no matter how much I love my kids, being their mom isn’t always easy. Parenting is hard. Jeff and I spend many conversations about our kids and wonder if we are doing the right thing. We have asked ourselves time and time again how do we get the most out of these years we have with them?
Have you ever asked yourself that question?
A friend sent me a copy of Parenting Beyond Your Capacity by Reggie Joiner and Carey Nieuwhof. It didn’t seem big enough to be a how to book and for that I was thankful! I have rows of books on discipline, potty training, establishing sleep schedules, and the benefits of chore charts. I was looking for more. I felt like the questions I was asking myself as a parent had more to do with what I wanted my kids to become. I wanted to give them “this is why it matters” answers as they journey their way to adulthood. In this book, the point is made that I should begin with the end in mind. So, we (and by we, I mean I) made a list.
::We want our kids to become adults that impact the world in a positive way.
::We want them to passionately pursue their Father that loves them.
::We want them to serve His kingdom well and often.
::We want them to honor and love others and love others more than themselves.
The steps to take to get them to what we want were difficult to outline in a simple how to book.
After reading (and rereading) this book, I have found answers. Turns out, the perfect model to parent has nothing to do with perfection. It has everything to do with honestly striving to be what we want our children to become.
::If we want our kids to impact the world, then we should tell them how to do that, show them how we do that, and give them opportunities to do that.
::If we want our kids to pursue the Father, then we need to tell them what that looks like, let them catch us spending time alone with Him, and then give them ample opportunities to do the same.
::If we want them to serve well and often, then we must do the same. WE need to take calculated steps and move them through the process of serving others. We need to make sure they have opportunities to serve others along side us and then on their own.
::If we want them to honor and love others more than themselves then we have to live that out. They need to see our honor for God as we honor others. And they need to see us love even when it is hard.
Trying to do this alone is definitely beyond our capacity. Jeff and I need to create a community of others that pour in to our kids. We need to surround them with like minded adults that live out the things that are important to us. As a family, we need to build our purpose in our community of faith as we write a better story. The good news is, we are not alone. Parenting Beyond Your Capacity will give you knowledge to build your own action plan for your family. Hopefully, your eyes will be opened to resources that are already around you. The chapters are full of useful information and the parallels we can draw for our families from the story of Moses are beautiful.
After yo watch this video, grab yourself a copy of the book. Soon you will find your capacity to parent significantly impacted as you put these principles to work.
Join the conversation!
What do you think keeps us from being the kind of parents we are called to be?
"Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family." — Anthony Brandt