How many times have you been asked if you have read a certain book or what book or books are you currently reading or what’s the next book you plan on diving into? Leaders are readers, right?!?!? But do you have time? You have days packed with meetings, flocks to pastor, supplies to order, tweets to tweet, and Sunday is coming! It gets busy!!! So, I have come up with a few questions to help you decide if The Eric Trap is for you!

OK, you are serious about addressing some difficult aspects of ministry and are ready to commit to being the kind of leader God has called you to be, right? Great! So ask yourself…

1. Am I a one-man/woman team?
Maybe you have fallen into the trap of thinking you can get the job done faster and better if you just do it yourself. Isolation in ministry can cripple your growth as a leader as well as your ministry. It’s easy to begin to believe the lie that we are in ministry alone. It is even easier and more dangerous to believe no one can possibly know what it is like for us. If you think you can do your job alone or you feel alone in ministry, this book is for you.

2. What leader am I following?
This is not a question we stop and ask ourselves very often. We go about the business of our particular tasks and sometimes lose sight of the mission and vision set before us by the leadership authority in our ministry lives—our lead pastors. We can slip into believing our ministry is our own and our lead pastor’s vision becomes very hard to see within the walls of our ministries. If you think your ministry maybe looking like it is all about your vision, this book is for you.

3. Is your ministry filled with parents that lead or parents that fill holes in schedules?
Giving parents roles that require them to be responsible for chunks of ministry programming can be scary. Too often, we think our role is to lead and let parents follow. When we give parents a chance to lead in our ministry areas, they fine tune their skills as spiritual leaders of their families. Are parents leading and serving in ways God has equipped them to lead and serve? We say we want to partner with parents but is that reflected in our ministry models? If you don’t have key parents in key leadership roles in your ministry, well…..

4. What measuring tools do I have in place to mark my success in ministry?
The Eric Trap deals with several common themes that can cause ministry leaders to lose focus of what matters most. As pastors, we are pulled in many directions sometimes overwhelmed with measuring success. If you find yourself only measuring success by weekly attendance, over-booked calendars, numbers of baptisms, financially giving, this book is for you.

5. How am I doing (how is my staff doing) as far as personal and professional priorities are concerned?
Honestly, this is a tough point made in the book. In reading through the chapters, I was forced to reflect back on how I was fairing in some of the areas. In several illustrations, I could easily see myself as Eric. This introspective look was no fun, quiet frankly. But it is necessary and critical if a healthy balance of personal life and ministry life is to be maintained. If you are feeling like you are being pulled in all different directions, this book is for you.

So, if you answered yes, then of course read the book! The Eric Trap is filled with narrative descriptions and scenario illustrations written by a team of folks who know their stuff! Contributing authors Kristin Englund, Sherrri Epperson, Craig Gyergyo, Deana Hayes, and Matt McDaniel are sharp and know what they are talking about. They give the reader tools and strategies to lead well. The five key points a leader must get right are clearly communicated. This book will allow you and your staff to dip deeper causing you all to become better leaders. If you decide to do a staff book study or a personal one-they have even included discussion questions at the conclusion of each chapter. The book is an easy read but the discussion points will cause you and/or your staff to think critically about personal and professional issues.

Who is Eric Newman? He honestly is probably a little bit of all of us. You will want to grab a copy of this book or two or three and share with friends-it is that good! This book is an invitation to dig deep and fine tune your leadership skills. Don’t miss the opportunity!

You can win an advanced copy right here! Comment below about why you are excited about this book and you will be entered to win!

We all hope that He is grinning for sure. But we can do more than hope. We can map out our family’s story celebrating the grins and acknowledging the grimaces-and be proactive in writing a better story. We can choose to spend our days glorifying God in big ways and little ways. Putting others first, doing an extra chore or two, leaving a note in a lunch, encouraging one another, serving together, praying together. As parents, it is important for us to recognize our role in our kid’s story.

Take Away
Here is an activity that will fun to complete as a family.

Materials:
• A piece of white poster board or large piece of white paper
• Colored markers, crayons, or pencils
• Masking tape

What To Do:
1. Discuss the idea of grins and grimaces with your family. Talk to your kids about times where you think God has grinned or grimaced in your day. Don’t be afraid to you use your personal story as an example. Your kids will love your authenticity and will be more likely to share their examples.

2. Divide the poster board or large piece of white paper in half. On one half write the word “grimace” in large letters and on the other half, write the word “grimace” in large letters.

3. Take turns and share examples of each writing them on the board or paper. Let your kids draw if that is easier for them.

4. After you are finished writing or drawing, focus on the grimace side of the paper. Ask your kids how they would turn those situations around so they could be on the grin column.

5. Pray and ask God to help your family increase the grins!

Your kids will love sharing in this activity with you! They are your biggest fans and they will go so much out of the time you will spend together. Sometimes their world and your world seem far apart. Sharing this time together will help make the two seem a little closer.

After you complete this activity with your family, would you stop back by and share how it went? Post a pic of your creation-you never know who you may encourage!

Have you ever asked yourself that question?

A friend sent me a copy of Parenting Beyond Your Capacity by Reggie Joiner and Carey Nieuwhof. It didn’t seem big enough to be a how to book and for that I was thankful! I have rows of books on discipline, potty training, establishing sleep schedules, and the benefits of chore charts. I was looking for more. I felt like the questions I was asking myself as a parent had more to do with what I wanted my kids to become. I wanted to give them “this is why it matters” answers as they journey their way to adulthood. In this book, the point is made that I should begin with the end in mind. So, we (and by we, I mean I) made a list.

::We want our kids to become adults that impact the world in a positive way.
::We want them to passionately pursue their Father that loves them.
::We want them to serve His kingdom well and often.
::We want them to honor and love others and love others more than themselves.

The steps to take to get them to what we want were difficult to outline in a simple how to book.
After reading (and rereading) this book, I have found answers. Turns out, the perfect model to parent has nothing to do with perfection. It has everything to do with honestly striving to be what we want our children to become.

::If we want our kids to impact the world, then we should tell them how to do that, show them how we do that, and give them opportunities to do that.

::If we want our kids to pursue the Father, then we need to tell them what that looks like, let them catch us spending time alone with Him, and then give them ample opportunities to do the same.

::If we want them to serve well and often, then we must do the same. WE need to take calculated steps and move them through the process of serving others. We need to make sure they have opportunities to serve others along side us and then on their own.

::If we want them to honor and love others more than themselves then we have to live that out. They need to see our honor for God as we honor others. And they need to see us love even when it is hard.

Trying to do this alone is definitely beyond our capacity. Jeff and I need to create a community of others that pour in to our kids. We need to surround them with like minded adults that live out the things that are important to us. As a family, we need to build our purpose in our community of faith as we write a better story. The good news is, we are not alone. Parenting Beyond Your Capacity will give you knowledge to build your own action plan for your family. Hopefully, your eyes will be opened to resources that are already around you. The chapters are full of useful information and the parallels we can draw for our families from the story of Moses are beautiful.

After yo watch this video, grab yourself a copy of the book. Soon you will find your capacity to parent significantly impacted as you put these principles to work.

Parenting Beyond Your Capacity Video

Join the conversation!
What do you think keeps us from being the kind of parents we are called to be?

I found this the other day on Pinterest.  I read it to my daughter and she laughed and said it sounded like something I would write.  She also commented that the stalking part sounds just like something I would do!  She said those are the kinds of things that make her feel like she is loved-even if she doesn’t like them.  Sometimes, I get tripped up as a mom.  I think that our home-our relationship-should be one of retreat and comfort.  Her world seems hard to me sometimes and I think a soft landing is what she desires most.  Turns out, she feels love by boundaries and expectations.  She wants to know where I stand so that she can know where she stands with me.  She is a concrete feeler no deep capacity for fluff.   I had to learn how to show here I loved her.  She had to feel it.  Loving her wasn’t all that I had to do.  I had to work to make it known to her.  It has taken me a while to learn that about my pink David.  She is strong and mighty, and I promise, someday she will move mountains.

So we divide and conquer (err, for the most part)

My two bigs rotate jobs MONTHLY! That way I don’t have to keep up with the day-to-day-who does what business.
1. Dogs and Dishes
2. Trash and Floors

The Bigs do their own laundry. I help the little with his-he does load and switch out. I help him fold, which means I refold. But he is getting better.

They are each responsible for their rooms.
They are all responsible for their things in the common areas.

And if they speak with unkind words or smart mouths, they get poop patrol in the backyard. Remember, we have FOUR DOGS!

I know moms that think they have to do it all for their kids. I think it is reasonable and ok for them to have chores and jobs. It gives them ownership in our home and creates a spirit of “we are all in this together”.

I am curious,
What expectations do you have for your kids and their chores?
Do your kids have responsibilities in your home?